How I Transformed My Health by Listening to My Gut (Literally!)

After countless visits to doctors with little relief, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands—and my plate. I dove headfirst into the research that shows our gut can be a huge disruptor in trauma healing, wondering if the state of my digestive system might be behind my constant brain fog, anxiety, and overall not-feeling-great vibe.

My journey began with a bit of detective work. I found an allergen test on Amazon, recommended by a podcast all about healing the gut. I took the test, and when the results came in, I was absolutely floored by the number of foods I was allergic to or sensitive to. It was a wake-up call that I couldn’t ignore. I prayed to God for the strength to make these changes—especially since living in middle America, where a Whole Foods is about an hour away and clean ingredients cost twice what I was used to paying, isn’t exactly a walk in the park.

Determined to change my health trajectory, I took a leap of faith and began a strict diet overhaul. The first items to go? Gluten and dairy—which, let’s be honest, was no small feat for someone who adores pizza and anything Italian. I went cold turkey on these staples and committed to the Whole30 diet to reset my gut and learn healthier eating habits. Sure, there were moments of withdrawal and cravings (if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re definitely lying), but after about 14 days, the cravings subsided and I started noticing a shift.

As I continued down this path, I became a bit of a label-reading, ingredient-detecting detective. I discovered the shocking amount of chemicals and additives in everyday foods—a true eye-opener that made me wonder how we’re all slowly being poisoned by what we eat! Soon enough, I found myself not just following a diet, but actually learning how to cook with intention. I began incorporating new ingredients and trusted brands into my meals, gradually transitioning to a more Paleo-style lifestyle. Today, I live gluten-free, limit grains most days, enjoy just a touch of sugar in my morning coffee, and have permanently bid farewell to dairy.

The benefits of these changes weren’t immediate miracles, but they were undeniable. My bloating vanished almost overnight, my thoughts grew clearer, and I started feeling more energized each day. Even though it’s been a five-year journey, I can honestly say that adjusting my diet was a huge leap toward feeling better. Navigating dining out in middle America still poses its challenges, but I’ve learned the art of ordering meals without butter, requesting allergy menus, and sometimes, simply opting for a hearty salad.

Through every twist and turn of this journey, my reliance on God has been my guiding light. In those moments when I felt utterly lost, His strength and wisdom led me to the resources, podcasts, and people that helped reshape my health. I continue to pray daily for guidance in my food choices and in every decision I make on this healing path. It’s been a wild ride—full of setbacks, small victories, and even a bit of humor (because sometimes you just have to laugh when your cravings for a cheesy slice of pizza threaten to overwhelm you).

If you’re on a similar journey, feeling the weight of life’s challenges and the pain of unhealed trauma, know that every small step toward change counts. Embrace the process, trust your gut (both literally and figuratively), and lean into the guidance of God. Your journey is unique, and even when it feels like you have nothing to lose, remember that every positive change builds the foundation for a healthier, happier life.

Stay encouraged, keep laughing, and trust that with faith, determination, and a few healthy tweaks to your diet, transformation is not only possible—it’s waiting just around the corner.

30 Days of Healing Series: Day 7

Day 7: God’s Love is Greater Than Your Pain

Scripture:
Romans 8:38-39 – "Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus."

There were days when my pain felt overwhelming—a constant barrage of physical aches, mental exhaustion, and tears that seemed endless. Some mornings, I woke up feeling as if I would never be whole again, trapped in a cycle of chronic pain and deep seated sorrow. Even on the days when I was managing to have a "good day," a single name or a familiar place could trigger that old, familiar rush of pain that tightened in my stomach and brought me to my knees.

I’m not ashamed to admit that in my darkest moments, I even yelled—and yes, sometimes cursed—at God. In my frustration and heartbreak, I wondered why I had to suffer so much. But no matter how raw my feelings, I still found myself returning to Him, every single day. Despite all the hurt, I clung to the truth that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate me from His love.

Understanding a Love That Never Fails

Even when I felt utterly abandoned by the world, God’s presence remained constant. His love wasn’t an abstract idea—it was something I could feel, even if it was often hidden behind my tears and pain. Over time, through prayer, therapy, and the support of a compassionate healing team, I began to see that my pain did not define me. Instead, it was a part of my story, a chapter that was leading to a breakthrough. God’s unshakable love became my anchor, reminding me that my brokenness did not mean I was unworthy of His care. It was in my vulnerability that I discovered His strength.

Healing Practice: Write a "Love Letter from God"

Today, I invite you to try something that helped me find solace in the midst of my storms—the "Love Letter from God." This practice is about imagining God speaking directly to you, reminding you of His unwavering love, even when you can’t see a way out of the darkness.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Find a Quiet Space:
   Settle into a place where you feel safe and comfortable. Give yourself permission to pause and breathe deeply.

2. Imagine His Voice:
   Close your eyes and imagine God sitting with you, His voice gentle and full of love. Picture Him speaking words of comfort and affirmation just for you.

3. Write It Down:
   On a piece of paper, write a letter as if God were writing to you. Let the words flow freely. You might write, "My child, I see your pain, but know that nothing can separate you from my love. I am with you in every tear, every moment of doubt, and every heartbeat." Allow His words to wrap around you like a warm embrace.

4. Reflect on the Letter:
   Read it aloud to yourself. Let each word sink in. Remember that no matter how heavy your burden, His love is greater than any pain you face.

Moving Forward with Hope

It’s not easy to let go of the past or to trust in a future where healing seems distant. Yet, every time I write that love letter to myself, as if penned by the very hands of God, I am reminded that His love is constant. Even in the midst of my rawest moments, when the weight of my chronic pain and deep-seated anxiety feels unbearable, His love has been my steady companion.

I share my story not as a tale of flawless triumph but as a testament to persistence. Even when I was angry and hurt, even when I questioned Him in the heat of my despair, I always found my way back to His love. And that’s the truth I want to leave you with today: no matter how deep your wounds, His love remains, unchanging and unbreakable.

Take a few moments today to write your own "Love Letter from God." Let His words of comfort and affirmation be a reminder that in every tear and every trial, you are deeply, irrevocably loved.

30 Day Healing Series: Day 6

 

Day 6: Why Trauma Feels Stuck

Scripture:
Romans 12:2 – "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Trauma has a stubborn way of getting lodged in our bodies and minds, almost like a bruise that never quite fades. For years, I battled unexplained chronic pain—pain that my doctors couldn’t put a name to and that I couldn’t shake, even after 28 years working in the mental health field. I had no idea that so much of what I was feeling was the physical echo of years spent keeping my trauma bottled up inside. My broken heart was festering, and every day brought the same struggles, sometimes with new symptoms that left me wondering if I’d ever find relief.

In those dark moments, when I had no one but God to talk to, each day seemed like an uphill battle. I’d wake up, brace myself for the pain, and hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be different. But they weren’t—until I finally found the right team to help me understand that this pain wasn’t a mystery, but a message. God was calling me to transform the way I was holding onto the past, and in doing so, renew my mind.

Understanding Why Trauma Feels Stuck

I learned that trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it embeds itself in our muscles, our nervous system, and even our breath. The stress of holding everything in, of never giving myself permission to feel fully, created a constant state of tension. It wasn’t just mental; it was physical. And breaking free required more than just a change in perspective—it needed a change in how I literally breathed and moved through the world.

Romans 12:2 reminds us that transformation starts from within. It’s about renewing our minds and, by extension, our bodies. I found that the first step was to reconnect with the simple act of breathing, something I’d taken for granted during my worst days.

Healing Practice: The Body & Breath Reset

Today, I invite you to join me in a "Body & Breath Reset"—a practice that has been a lifeline for me. Here’s how to do it:

1. Find a Quiet Spot:
   Take five minutes for yourself. Sit or stand somewhere you feel safe and undisturbed.

2. Deep Breaths:
   Close your eyes and take several slow, deep breaths. With each inhale, feel the possibility of renewal. With each exhale, let go of a bit of that tightness that’s been holding you back.

3. Hand on Heart:
   Place your hand gently on your heart. As you breathe, say quietly or out loud, "I am safe. God is renewing my mind. Healing is happening." Repeat this mantra until you feel a sense of calm starting to spread through you.

For me, these moments of mindful breathing became a way to signal to my body that it was okay to release the tension and pain that had accumulated over the years. It was a small but powerful reminder that healing is a process—and that even in the midst of pain, God is working to transform us from the inside out.

Moving Forward

Letting go of trauma is not a one-time event; it’s an ongoing practice. Every time you take those deep, intentional breaths and place your hand over your heart, you’re taking a step toward breaking the cycle. Even when your body aches and your mind feels burdened, know that each breath is a testament to your strength and a declaration that healing is happening.

Remember, transformation takes time. But with each day, with every moment you allow yourself to breathe deeply and release, you’re choosing renewal over resignation. Trust that God’s promise of transformation isn’t just for the big moments—it’s in these quiet, everyday resets that real healing begins.

In God's love...

30 Day Healing Series: Day 5

 

Day 5: Letting Go of the Past

Scripture:

Isaiah 43:18-19 – "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!"

There are days when it feels impossible to let go. Even when everything seems to be going well, a familiar name or a place can trigger that sudden, sinking feeling in your stomach—the kind of pain that brings tears without warning. I’ve been there: one minute I'm having a great day, and the next, I'm caught off guard by a memory that breaks through the facade, reminding me of all that hurt.

For years, I held onto those memories, thinking that by keeping them close, I was protecting myself. But I soon learned that holding onto the past only gave it more control over my life. It was a constant reminder of the moments that broke me—chronic pain, depression, anxiety, early menopause symptoms, and neurological challenges that left me feeling raw and exposed. I had to make a choice: continue to let those memories define me, or trust that God was doing something new.

With the support of a caring therapist and my holistic healing team, I began to understand that I didn't have to carry that weight forever. I started praying for the Lord to heal the deep wounds and help me release the past. Slowly, I learned that the act of letting go was not about forgetting, but about reclaiming my power and allowing God to fill the space with hope and renewal.

Healing Practice: The Release Prayer

Today, I invite you to join me in a simple yet transformative exercise called "The Release Prayer." It’s my way of physically and spiritually letting go of the past.

1. Hold Your Past:
   Stand or sit comfortably, and imagine holding all those painful memories in your hands. Picture them as tangible weights you’ve been carrying for too long.

2. Release:
   Slowly open your hands wide, as if you’re gently letting go of everything that has hurt you. As you do this, say out loud, "God, I release this to You. I trust You to make all things new."
   Repeat these words until you begin to feel lighter, until you truly believe that God is taking your burdens and transforming them into something new.

3. Feel the Freedom:
   Allow yourself a moment to feel the freedom that comes with letting go. This is your first step toward embracing the new things God is already doing in your life.

Letting go of the past isn’t easy. It takes courage to release the memories that have defined us for so long. But every time you choose to let go, you create space for God’s healing to flow in. I’ve learned that while the triggers may still come from time to time, I no longer have to let them dictate my day or my destiny. Instead, I trust that God is working behind the scenes, turning even the deepest hurts into a foundation for new beginnings.

Keep moving forward, one prayer, one release at a time. Remember, God is doing something new—something beautiful—with your life.

30 Day Healing Series: Day 4

Day 4: Breaking Free from Shame

Scripture:
Romans 8:1 – "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

For years, I was trapped in a cycle of chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and the unpredictable challenges of early menopause and neurological symptoms. In the midst of this struggle, shame became a constant companion. It whispered cruel lies to me: "I'm not enough," "I'm unworthy." In those dark moments, it was almost impossible to believe that I was fearfully and wonderfully made.

Recognizing the Lies of Shame

Shame has a way of distorting our self-image, convincing us that our pain defines us and that we are less than what we truly are. I spent so much time believing these lies, feeling like my suffering somehow diminished my worth. But the truth is, these deceptive messages are not from God—they are from the wounds we carry, trying to keep us small and silent. Our trauma stories do not have to continue to be who we are every single day. 

Healing Practice: The "Shame Release" Activity

Today, I invite you to join me in a practice that helped me break free from the grip of shame:

1. Write It Down:
   Get a piece of paper and a pen. Write down all the lies that shame has ever told you—things like "I'm not enough" or "I'm unworthy." Let it all out, without judgment.

2. Replace with Truth:
   Next to each lie, write a biblical truth that contradicts it. For example, next to "I'm not enough," write "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Let these truths remind you of your inherent worth and the love God has for you.

3. Break Free:
   When you're ready, tear up the paper as a powerful symbol of breaking free from the chains of shame. Each piece represents a lie that no longer has power over you.

Embracing Our True Worth

I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to reclaim your sense of worth. In the midst of my pain, I often felt so lost that I couldn't see any beauty in myself. But in time, I discovered that God uses every part of our journey—even the painful, messy parts—to shape us into the healers and helpers we are meant to be. My struggles have become a bridge to others who are suffering, showing them that they, too, can rise above the lies of shame.

This process isn't always easy, and it certainly isn't instant. Yet every time you choose to replace a lie with a truth, you're taking a step toward healing. Remember, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are not defined by your pain; you are defined by the infinite love and grace of God.

Moving Forward

Breaking free from shame is a courageous act of self-love. As you tear up those pieces of paper, envision yourself shedding the weight of untruths that have held you back for so long. Embrace the truth that you are wonderfully made, and know that your experiences—both the hard and the hopeful—are a testament to your strength and resilience.

Keep moving forward with the confidence that comes from knowing who you truly are. Your journey, with all its ups and downs, is a powerful story of redemption and hope.

30 Day Healing Series: Day 3

 

Day 3: God Sees Your Suffering

Scripture:
Genesis 16:13 – "You are the God who sees me."

There was a season in my life when I felt completely unseen—crying in my closet and in the shower every single day, overwhelmed by pain. I remember praying with such intensity for the hard stuff to just disappear, expecting an immediate fix. But as time passed, I learned that healing isn’t about quick fixes. While I was busy pleading for relief, God was quietly at work in my life. He was placing the right people around me, guiding me toward treatments that helped, and orchestrating situations that slowly began to lift the heavy weight of my suffering.

When Your Pain Feels Invisible

For the longest time, I struggled with the feeling of invisibility in my own pain. Whether it was the daily battles with anxiety, depression, and the confusing symptoms of early menopause and neurological issues—or even my anger towards the Lord for letting trauma happen—there were days I felt utterly isolated in my despair. I prayed so fervently for these hardships to vanish that I almost forgot to see the subtle, transformative changes happening within me. And although it wasn’t an overnight miracle, God was making sure I didn’t remain lost in the dark.

I can’t help but chuckle at how intense I was back then—talking to the universe in my closet like I was auditioning for a one person play! Even in those raw moments, I was beginning to learn that every tear had a purpose, and every cry was heard.

Healing Practice: The "God Sees Me" Mirror Exercise

Today, I invite you to try a practice that has been a game-changer for me: the "God Sees Me" Mirror Exercise. This is how you can put it into action:

1. Find Your Space:
   Stand in front of a mirror in a quiet, safe spot. It might feel a little odd at first—trust me, I've been there—but this is your moment to connect with your true self.

2. Speak Your Truth:
   Look into your own eyes and declare, "God sees me. God knows my pain. I am not invisible to Him." Say it out loud, over and over, until you begin to believe those words. It might feel silly initially, but repetition is the key to letting this truth sink in.

3. Let It Sink In:
   After each round, take a deep breath and allow yourself to really feel the message. Even if a smile creeps onto your face despite the raw emotions, embrace that moment. It’s a sign that you’re starting to see yourself through God’s loving eyes.

Embracing the Vision of Being Seen

Standing there, facing your own reflection and affirming that you are seen by God, is more than just an exercise—it’s a declaration of worth and a reminder that no matter how invisible your pain may feel, it never escapes His notice. Even when I was in the depths of my suffering, God was working behind the scenes, transforming my life one subtle shift at a time. The right people, the right treatments, and the right situations were all part of His plan to bring healing into my brokenness.

Remember, healing is a journey filled with ups and downs, moments of raw vulnerability, and unexpected humor. It’s about finding strength in your reflection and knowing that, even on the hardest days, you are seen, you are known, and you are deeply loved.

Keep going, one honest moment at a time.

30 Day Healing Series: Day 2

 

Day 2: Naming Your Pain Before God

Scripture:
Psalm 62:8 – "Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Today, I want to share a raw and honest part of my journey—a step that changed everything for me. For the longest time, I didn’t even know what my pain was. I grappled with intense anxiety and depression, unexplained neurological symptoms, and even the challenges of early menopause. Amid it all, I carried a burning anger toward the Lord, questioning why my trauma was allowed to happen.

It wasn’t until I learned to name my pain that I began to understand its weight. Naming it didn’t make the pain vanish, but it made it real. It turned an overwhelming, diffuse hurt into something I could acknowledge, confront, and ultimately, begin to heal.

---

The Power of Naming Our Pain

For years, I struggled in silence—confused about whether the source of my pain was my mental health, my body's unpredictable changes, or something deeper that I couldn’t even pinpoint. In that struggle, I also wrestled with anger: anger towards the circumstances, anger towards the Lord for letting these trials come my way, and anger towards a life that felt increasingly unmanageable.

Naming these pains out loud was both liberating and terrifying. It meant admitting that I was hurt, that I was angry, and that I didn’t have all the answers. But it also meant that I was ready to face the truth and invite healing into every broken corner of my life.

---

Healing Practice: The "Pouring Out Prayer"

Today, I invite you to join me in a practice that helped me start reclaiming my story—the "Pouring Out Prayer." Here’s how you can do it:

1. Find Your Space:
   Choose a quiet spot where you feel safe. It might be a cozy corner of your home, a peaceful spot in nature, or even a quiet room where you can be alone with your thoughts.

2. Speak Your Truth:
   Begin by saying, “Dear God…” and let your emotions flow. Name the pain that you’ve been carrying. Don’t shy away from saying things like, “I feel overwhelmed by anxiety and depression,” “I’m hurting because of these neurological symptoms and early menopause,” or “I’m angry at You for letting this trauma happen.” Give each emotion and wound a name.

3. Acknowledge Your Anger and Vulnerability:
   It’s okay to be angry. In fact, I found that admitting my anger was a crucial step in my healing process. I voiced my frustration with the hardships I endured and questioned the reasons behind my suffering. This wasn’t about casting blame—it was about owning my feelings so that I could move forward with clarity.

4. End with Gratitude:
   Even in the midst of pain, thank God for being a constant refuge. Express your gratitude for the moments of solace, the unexpected support, and the promise that He is listening—even when you’re at your most raw.

---

A Sample "Pouring Out Prayer"

Dear God,

Today I come to You with all the messiness of my heart. I admit that I’ve spent so long not even knowing what hurt me. I wrestle with anxiety, depression, the confusing symptoms of my body’s changes, and the unpredictable neurological challenges that leave me feeling broken. I’m angry—angry at the pain, angry at the moments

Day 2: Naming Your Pain Before God

Scripture:
Psalm 62:8 – "Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Today, I want to share a raw and honest part of my journey—a step that changed everything for me. For the longest time, I didn’t even know what my pain was. I grappled with intense anxiety and depression, unexplained neurological symptoms, and even the challenges of early menopause. Amid it all, I carried a burning anger toward the Lord, questioning why my trauma was allowed to happen.

It wasn’t until I learned to name my pain that I began to understand its weight. Naming it didn’t make the pain vanish, but it made it real. It turned an overwhelming, diffuse hurt into something I could acknowledge, confront, and ultimately, begin to heal.

---

The Power of Naming Our Pain

For years, I struggled in silence—confused about whether the source of my pain was my mental health, my body's unpredictable changes, or something deeper that I couldn’t even pinpoint. In that struggle, I also wrestled with anger: anger towards the circumstances, anger towards the Lord for letting these trials come my way, and anger towards a life that felt increasingly unmanageable.

Naming these pains out loud was both liberating and terrifying. It meant admitting that I was hurt, that I was angry, and that I didn’t have all the answers. But it also meant that I was ready to face the truth and invite healing into every broken corner of my life.

---

Healing Practice: The "Pouring Out Prayer"

Today, I invite you to join me in a practice that helped me start reclaiming my story—the "Pouring Out Prayer." Here’s how you can do it:

1. Find Your Space:
   Choose a quiet spot where you feel safe. It might be a cozy corner of your home, a peaceful spot in nature, or even a quiet room where you can be alone with your thoughts.

2. Speak Your Truth:
   Begin by saying, “Dear God…” and let your emotions flow. Name the pain that you’ve been carrying. Don’t shy away from saying things like, “I feel overwhelmed by anxiety and depression,” “I’m hurting because of these neurological symptoms and early menopause,” or “I’m angry at You for letting this trauma happen.” Give each emotion and wound a name.

3. Acknowledge Your Anger and Vulnerability:
   It’s okay to be angry. In fact, I found that admitting my anger was a crucial step in my healing process. I voiced my frustration with the hardships I endured and questioned the reasons behind my suffering. This wasn’t about casting blame—it was about owning my feelings so that I could move forward with clarity.

4. End with Gratitude:
   Even in the midst of pain, thank God for being a constant refuge. Express your gratitude for the moments of solace, the unexpected support, and the promise that He is listening—even when you’re at your most raw.

---

A Sample "Pouring Out Prayer"

Dear God,

Today I come to You with all the messiness of my heart. I admit that I’ve spent so long not even knowing what hurt me. I wrestle with anxiety, depression, the confusing symptoms of my body’s changes, and the unpredictable neurological challenges that leave me feeling broken. I’m angry—angry at the pain, angry at the moments when I felt abandoned, and even angry at You for allowing this trauma to happen.

But even in this anger and confusion, I know You are my refuge. I need You to help me untangle these emotions, to see them clearly, and to start the process of healing. Thank You for listening, even when my words are raw and full of pain. Help me to understand, to forgive, and to move toward a future where hope replaces hurt.

Amen.

---

Moving Forward

Naming our pain is not about wallowing in it—it’s the first brave step toward reclaiming our lives. When we speak our truth, we take back control from the overwhelming weight of the unknown. This process isn’t linear, and it’s not easy. But every time you name a pain, you chip away at its power over you.

Today, as you practice your own "Pouring Out Prayer," remember that every emotion—whether it's the deep-seated sorrow, the confusion of unexplained symptoms, or the anger towards the divine—deserves to be seen and heard. I invite you to share your reflections if you feel called to. Your journey, with all its complexities, matters.

Thank you for walking this path with me. We may be on different parts of our journeys, but in our shared vulnerability, we find strength. when I felt abandoned, and even angry at You for allowing this trauma to happen.

But even in this anger and confusion, I know You are my refuge. I need You to help me untangle these emotions, to see them clearly, and to start the process of healing. Thank You for listening, even when my words are raw and full of pain. Help me to understand, to forgive, and to move toward a future where hope replaces hurt.

Amen.

---

Moving Forward

Naming our pain is not about wallowing in it—it’s the first brave step toward reclaiming our lives. When we speak our truth, we take back control from the overwhelming weight of the unknown. This process isn’t linear, and it’s not easy. But every time you name a pain, you chip away at its power over you.

Today, as you practice your own "Pouring Out Prayer," remember that every emotion—whether it's the deep-seated sorrow, the confusion of unexplained symptoms, or the anger towards the divine—deserves to be seen and heard. I invite you to share your reflections if you feel called to. Your journey, with all its complexities, matters.

Thank you for walking this path with me. We may be on different parts of our journeys, but in our shared vulnerability, we find strength.